The Dark Side:

I have included the dark side on the last page of my web site to let          
the world know what drives me…
                                ” What fuels my passion.”
I am a recovering drug & alcohol addict.  From my 14th year to my  44th
year I was using, and abusing drugs, and alcohol.. It seems, in that 30-year
period, the most important things in my life where my own insecurities,
and the chemicals that relived them.

I remained “as the world saw it” healthy, a little crazy, and in need of   
some  direction.

But, the truth is, I was totally addicted to what ever chemical that would
relive the insecurities and help overcome the fear I had of the real world.  

Most who knew me never knew the extent of my addictions. Because I was
seemingly healthy, I owned a house and I was always having a party.     
I pushed the limit every day, a little extreme maybe, but not to far out of
hand.
However, here are just a few of the facts:
  •         I do not remember much about high school.  I can name
    probably, a handful of friends & I don’t remember any of their faces.
    The only time in high school I do remember was when I went to
    Alaska and worked on a King Crab Boat.(I had to remain sober.)
  •          I have been arrested 6 or 7 times and, I have been on probation
    or parole most of my adult life.
  •          I lived in a house in Plano for 7+ years.  To this day, I do not
    know the address…
  •         Just before my last arrest I lived in a roach infested  dump with
    no water or electricity for three months
  •          The one thing that remained constant in my life, (besides the
    chemicals) was the fact that I loved to push the limit.

With all this said:" I have been sober now for more than 12 years. "
I have a beautiful wife and my children are a major part of my life…
I value what friends I do have. I pray daily for forgiveness from those  
whom I may have hurt, and ask those I have forgotten to understand.  
               “To put my life in the words of my baby girl
                        “I have just switched addictions”

    I am now addicted to “LIFE” all-be-it  a little extreme
                                                      with  
Skydiving camera/video, Motorcycle Racing-and… being a “Chef”

But, it seems to be lot safer than what I was doing, it’s legal and
                               “I will remember most of it”

Knowing a little about the dark side I hope who ever needs to use this  
resource will!!!!
                   I am available to talk any time!!!!!  
                      Life is too fricken cool to pass up                              
      I spent 30 years in the darkness of a drug induced fog
Then at “44+” years young, I began to live. 12 years later I am still at it.
                                       It is never too late.

         Mikel Lawrence
    “The Skydiving Chef”             
The Dark Side